An Assist: The Aggie Way

Aggie Assist HeaderBy The Aggie Coaching Staff

There is a quote by Mario Puzo:

“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.”

That loyalty is never more tested than in times of adversity.  The true family stands with each other during moments of difficulty.  And while we certainly pray that our family members are void of pain we know that suffering will come — and we know we will be there to lend a hand when it does — that is what defines family.

This week, one of our very own, Tori Scott Raven (’15) has lost her mother.  Her mother was the kind in which coaches dream of — always supporting our staff in our basketball decisions and being in the forefront when it came to Tori’s academics.  She stressed constantly that nothing was more important to Tori’s tenure as an Aggie than a quality education and a degree.  And with her mom’s motivational force, she achieved both.

The amazing story behind Tori and her mother is that their journey has never been easy.  The New Orleans family was decimated by Hurricane Katrina and was displaced often.  Still, with her mother’s support Tori is an Aggie graduate, married and mother of young baby boy.

As often happens, the children become the caretakers of parents and Tori is now faced with the dilemma of financing her mother’s funeral.  It’s a daunting task as you can imagine and must be done while grieving.

Through the efforts of our athletic department and compliance office, we have been able to create a method in which we can assist Tori — The Aggie Way.

There are two ways to help:

  1. Mail a check with a note that funds are to assist Tori Scott to the:

12th Man Foundation,

P.O. Box 2800

College Station, TX 77841-2800

  1. Or you can make a credit card payment by calling the 12th Man Foundation at 979-846-8892 and explain that you want to make a contribution to Tori Scott’s mother’s expenses.

We have an Aggie in need — please consider making a donation regardless of size.  After all, it’s The Aggie Way!

 

Goodbye Teammates

GOODBYE TEAMMATES HEADER PICBy Curtyce Knox

How Do I Say Goodbye….

The hardest thing for me to do this year is to say goodbye to the team we’ve built this year because more than a team we have been and will continue to be a family.  Each of you young ladies I consider my sisters. We have lifted one another up and been there for each other.  My team has made parenting so easy for me and I truly appreciate each one of “Haven’s aunties” for remaining by my side and helping me through this year and a half with her. I really don’t know what I would do without your love and support of my daughter. With the assistance of this team, our coaches and the staff I have had the opportunity to be successful on and off the court.  The support and strength of this team (my sisters) is second to none and I wouldn’t trade any of you for anyone else. Haven is the luckiest little girl to have so many beautiful, strong, athletic, funny, and ………very tall aunties!

Because of you I have a legacy that I can share with my daughter, with you guys (my sisters) we have proved that Texas A&M Women’s Basketball is truly a contender and that with good coaches, dedication and teamwork we could be just as successful as any other team.  And now, without my sisters, I will build on what I learned this year.  I will remember the hard work we put in and the adversity we overcame as a team and use that knowledge to assist me in achieving my goals on the next level knowing one day I will play with or against each of them…..so what I want to say to my sisters is GOODBYE FOR NOW………

P. S.  It was so good to have you there this weekend during the WNBA Combine, what you ladies do for me means the world to me!  I Love You All!!!

FullSizeRender

 

Goodbye Coaching Staff

GOODBYE STAFF HEADER PICBy Taylor Cooper

I remember getting my first phone call from Coach Blair. There was something in his voice when he talked about the game of basketball that drew me in. He understood the X’s and O’s. We talked about his time at Arkansas and coaching my high school coach Wendi Willits, who he says is “the best pure shooter” he has ever coached. He talked about the game with passion, reminding me of a version of myself. I was so star-struck after I hung up the phone. Here I was getting a phone call from Gary Blair, a man who had just been inducted into the Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame and won a National Championship in 2011. This man wanted me to play for him at Texas A&M University. The history and tradition behind the 12th man and everything Aggies stand for was something I wanted to be a part of.  I always knew I wanted to be a basketball coach, so why not learn from the best?

My first year at A&M was a redshirt year for me. I was a transfer so I was only allowed to practice and go through 6 AM preseason workouts. I could not participate in games. This was a hard year for me but I embraced the opportunity to see the game from a different perspective. I spent most of that time playing with our men’s practice squad against my teammates helping them prepare for games.

My next two years, I battled two major shoulder injuries. The first year I dislocated my right shoulder and tore my labrum midway through the season during a practice. I decided to keep playing and put off surgery until after the season was over. The next year I dislocated my left shoulder — same exact injury, just different arm and different location. The recovery for these surgeries lasted about 6 months each, so I got to spend majority of my time with Radar. What would I have done without him? Everyone knows who Radar is, I mean they should… he and Jesus went to school together. He took me to all of my medical appointments, where he and Dr. Bramhal would always joke about how I have the second highest amount of anchors (18 screws) in my shoulders than any other athlete he’s ever done, including the football team.

IMG_6757.JPGDuring my red shirt year and while I was recovering through my injuries, I also spent a lot of time with Coach Jen Jones, who is our strength and conditioning coach. My first year here I literally thought she was going to kill me…LOL. The conditioning and weights were on a different level than what I was used too, but she was always positive and pushing us to be the best that we could be. It’s easy to say that now. What she put our team and I through was grueling. I did not realize how much I appreciated her until now. She was someone I could go to if I felt like I was ever struggling with my faith, and she also set up our community service. She emphasized and showed us how important it was to give back and to put others before ourselves.

COOP AMYSomeone else who doesn’t get enough credit is Coach Wright. Everyone always loves reading about us signing top recruits but they don’t understand how much hard work and time is put into those moments. She is a work horse behind the scenes. The phone calls, letters, emails, time on the road, flying to watch kids play, and the amount of hours she spends in the gym as well as watching film. I’m convinced that she stays busy 24/7. She cares about this program and does everything she can to try to bring in the best, year in and year out. If I could take away one thing that learned one thing from her, it wouldn’t be anything that she has said to me over the years even though a lot of that has helped me become better as a player; it would be through her actions. She showed me that it’s ok to do all the dirty work and not necessarily get the credit or be in the spotlight for all of it.

COOP KELLYThe next one I want to talk about is Coach Bond. She has always been someone that I have admired. On the basketball court Coach Bond is an offensive genius. She picks apart and exploits mismatches against every team that we face; the woman knows what she is doing. However, off the court she is a wife and a mother to her beautiful baby girl Lauryn. She treated me like I was her own daughter. If I was sick she would always make some of her chicken noodle soup and bring it to me. If I was home sick, needed to talk about school or relationship advice she was always there for me, no matter what it was. To understand her background and see the strong successful woman that she has made herself into makes me want to do the same. She knows how to balance being one of the top assistant coaches in the country and having a family by doing things the right way, the Aggie Way.

COOP GBThe next one is Coach Blair, one of my favorite people in the game of basketball. I’m not going to lie and say that my years of playing here were perfect. Anyone who has played for Coach Blair knows that he is a hard person to play for. He knows so much about the game and he expects us to know it too. One of his biggest pet peeves is what he calls “dumb dumb plays”. These are plays in practice or games that show your lack of basketball IQ.  He has so much respect for the game that stuff like that gets under his skin. He knows how to have fun with it though. He’s an old school guy so some of our girls don’t get his jokes but believe me, he is hilarious. One of the things that I have always respected him for is how involved he is in the community and working with special needs kids. Those are things that aren’t in his job description but he does it anyway because he cares — just like he cares about every kid he coaches. He is also really big on academics, which is why every player he has coached that finished school at Texas A&M has graduated. One of the biggest takeaways that I have learned  from him is to not take any shortcuts if you want to be successful.

Everyone knows who I saved for last, Coach Starkey. He and his wife Mrs. Sherie were my second set of parents away from home. I actually have my own room at their house  – LOL (for my rehab stints or when I wasn’t feeling well). Although I am probably the favorite now instead of him in his own house, I was blessed to have such an amazing role model and mentor at the same time. He cared about my life outside of basketball while simultaneously oozing out information and cool stories of past players and coaches he’s worked with on a daily basis.  One of the things that stood out to me was how important his relationships are with people. Coach Starkey showed me what it means to truly care about your players and is one of the main reasons that I am going to get into coaching. He doesn’t just talk the talk he walks the walk. One of his favorite quotes he would put on our scouting reports was “It’s not the will to win; it’s the will to prepare to win that is important.” I have learned so much about the game of basketball and how to prepare for games by just being around him. He is a detail-orientated guy and it’s the little things that make a difference. He has been a father figure to me and will always hold a special place in my heart.

My time at Texas A&M has been the best four years of my life. I not only became a better basketball player but more importantly a better woman. Nothing came easy to me and for that I am grateful. I was taught patience and hard work while at the same time having to earn everything that I was given.  Now I feel like I am prepared for life after basketball. Thank you to the fans, the 12th Man, my teammates/sisters, and a big thanks to my coaches. They have been role models to me, through the good and the bad, and I have learned every step along the way.

 

Goodbye Aggieland

GOODBYE HEADER

By Alyssa Michalke

Saying goodbye has never been easy for me, and it’s challenging for a number of reasons. I’ve never been great with words, so I find it difficult to string together a group of words and phrases that accurately describe the emotions I’ve felt, the experiences I’ve had, the memories I’ve made, and the impact a certain person or place has had on my life. That short, two-syllable word serves as the closing statement in a chapter of my life, and as I abruptly realize the end is just around the corner, a wave of emotions hit me hard. Couple all of that with the uncertainty of entering a new phase in my life as I leave the comfortable familiarity of College Station and Aggieland, and it’s easier to understand why I dread saying goodbye.

Bidding farewell to a place that means so much to me is much more difficult than I ever anticipated. Aggieland has become a second home to me over the past five years, although it took the better part of two years for me to think of College Station in that way. Texas A&M was not at the top of my “dream college” list, and although my mom convinced me to don the maroon and white, I spent the summer leading up to my first fall semester questioning my decision. After school began and the stress from multiple areas of my college life began to mount, I wondered whether I had made the right decision. Although College Station was only ninety-odd miles from my hometown, those ninety miles felt more like a thousand. On the rare occasion I was able to go home for a weekend during my freshman year, I dreaded the hour and forty-five minute drive back to Aggieland. I left at the last possible minute every Sunday afternoon, reluctant to leave the quiet, relaxing town of Schulenburg to return to exams, stress, and demands from various sources.

There were multiple times I considered dropping out of the Corps and transferring to another college within the Texas A&M system. However, I always ended up putting off the paperwork to the next week, and inevitably, something would go well during that week, so I would shove the paperwork to the bottom of my to-do list as I survived another week in College Station. Ever so slowly, Aggieland was growing on me.

As I began my sophomore year, I had a different outlook on life as a whole, and more specifically, on my time in college. During my freshman year, I took each day for granted, and lamented when I was assigned more homework or my upperclassmen in the Corps held me to a higher standard than I thought was fair. With a year of college behind me and a little more maturity, I now approached each day as a privilege, an opportunity that relatively few people in this world have. I challenged myself to improve physically, mentally, and spiritually each and every day, not just for my own personal benefit, but in the hopes that my personal development would positively impact my fellow cadets and classmates. My love for Aggieland grew exponentially throughout my sophomore, junior, senior, and fifth year here at Texas A&M as I developed a greater understanding of what immense impact this university has on the world, and an appreciation for all that it has done for so many people.

Although I have a few short weeks left here in Aggieland, it’s time to start saying goodbye and thank you to a place that has given me more than I could have ever imagined.

ALBRITTON TOWERFirst and foremost, goodbye to The Quad, a place that served as my home for arguably the most challenging, yet rewarding, four years of my life. I saw The Quad at 5:45 every morning as we began the day with physical training or military inspections, at 6:30 every evening as we rendered honors to our nation’s colors before eating dinner, and at 10:30 at night on the rare occasion we held Echo Taps to honor a fallen cadet. I’ve run around The Quad with a rifle in my hands and boots on my feet, I’ve marched around it with my fellow cadets as we first learned, and then taught, proper marching procedures, and I’ve met some outstanding individuals while walking to and from class. I’ve had many late-night and early-morning meetings with some of the hardest-working and passionate people I have ever met, and despite the lack of sleep and their busy schedules, their commitment to excellence and willingness to sacrifice their time and energy to further develop those around them never ceased to amaze me. The Quad will always hold a special place in my heart.

Goodbye to all the campus landmarks that have come to hold special meanings for me. There’s Duncan Field where our sophomores awarded us freshmen our Corps Brass at the end of a rigorous training session. There’s Blocker and the Mitchel Physics Building, where I often questioned my decision to become an engineer after a long, complicated lecture or grueling exam. There’s Simpson Drill Field where we played sports on Friday afternoons, and where I walked my Final Review in a cadet uniform. There’s the tunnel by West Campus Garage and the tunnel by Albritton Bell Tower where we conducted numerous physical training sessions, and where I came to truly hate those small hills and the sprint workouts devised by our upperclassmen. There’s Wehner on West Campus, where the Squad Platoon within the Ross Volunteer Company would practice rifle drill, spinning and tossing those practice rifles until our hands were bruised and numb. There’s Academic Plaza where I stood on multiple Tuesday nights to honor a fellow Aggie who left us too soon, where cadets hold a salute during the 21-gun salute and rendition of “Taps,” and Albritton Bell Tower tolls in memory of those Aggies we lost. There’s Reed Arena, where I took numerous physical fitness tests while in the Corps, attended four campus Musters, and had the privilege to practice and play alongside a group of amazing young ladies as a member of the Aggie basketball team. And finally, there’s Bonfire Memorial and an engraving of “The Last Corps Trip,” where I would go late at night to clear my head when something was troubling me. Whenever I pass these places on campus, these landmarks bring to mind all the incredible experiences I’ve had during my time as a student.

BONFIRE MEMORIALGoodbye to all the friends and mentors I’ve had while in Aggieland. I could write a short novel with the names of all that have helped and supported me over these past five years. You have challenged me to reach my full potential; you have taught me the tough lessons that I needed to learn, even though there were times I thought I knew it all; you have been a source of wisdom and advice when I was unsure where to go or what to do; you have shown me what true leadership, selfless service, commitment, and hard work look like; you helped me grow and develop from an anxious, quiet freshman into a strong, confident young woman that I never knew had the potential to exist. I can’t thank all of you enough for all that you have done for me, as my time in Aggieland wouldn’t have been near as special without you. As much as certain organizations and places on campus mean to me, it’s truly the people, and the Aggie spirit within them, that makes those other things so special.

And finally, Aggieland, thank you.

Thank you for all of the love you have shown me, even when I wasn’t sure College Station was the place I needed to be.

Thank you for introducing me to a group of people so special, so selfless, and so passionate, all of whom left a profound impact on my life.

Thank you for giving me another place to call home and blessing me with a huge extended family that I know I can call upon in the future if I’m ever in need.

Thank you for providing me five years’ worth of memories and experiences that I will look back on with fondness as I recall the people and events that made my time here so amazing.

Thank you for the best five years I could have asked for. I pray every night that I have worked hard enough and given back to Texas A&M, Aggieland, and all of those people I’ve come to know during my time here in return for all that this university and community has given me. Although I may be saying goodbye to my time in Aggieland as a student, I know that many more chapters in my life will still contain Aggieland, at the very least in remembrance and gratitude for all this amazing community has done for and meant to me.

Goodbye, Aggieland…and thank you. For everything.

 

 

Leading — The Aggie Way

aggie leadership councilBy Bob Starkey

One of my staff responsibilities at Texas A&M is to head up our “Leadership Council.”  It is a group of our student-athletes that meet weekly to discuss the elements of leadership and how we can best apply them to improving our team.  Often we spend time working on basketball skills as coaches — shooting, passing, dribbling and rebounding — but not leadership.  I often hear coaches talk about how they lack leadership on their team and I always respond, “are you teaching it?”

This biggest part of our Leadership Council is not me preaching but me listening a lot.  We have six members this year on our council and my number one goal is to create ownership of our culture with our team.  It’s their vehicle…they have the keys…now where and how are we going to drive it.  Their voice, thoughts and ideas are critical to developing successful leaders — not just for our basketball team but for later in life.

Our objectives with the council include:

#1 To develop and improve upon our leadership as individuals.

#2 To create a leadership culture that will positively impact our team.

“Leadership isn’t a difference maker, it’s THE difference maker.” -Urban Meyer

This year’s council includes Taylor Cooper, Alyssa Michalke, Curtyce Knox, Jasmine Lumpkin, Anriel Howard and Danni Williams.

And our council this year has been outstanding.  Last year we lost three starters — all who spent some time in the WNBA.  We lost the SEC 6th Player of the Year and our top post player off the bench.  Coaches and sportswriters alike pegged us to finish in the lower half of the SEC.  Terms like “rebuilding” were used often.  Yet here we are finishing in the top half of the SEC, winning two games in the SEC tournament, owner of 21 regular season victories while awaiting our dance ticket in the NCAA.

And a big reason has to be the job our council has done in communicating with our team and providing a great example.  The season can be a grind and the response of a team to the difficulty and adversity that is face is essential.  We talk about making sure that our leadership council wins the locker room.  The leadership is magnified significantly AWAY from practices and games.

We meet weekly in our conference room with the letters “Leadership Council” above us.  In the past, we have had individual photos of each member of the council.  This year, we exchanged that for a team photo with the quote “Life’s most urgent question is what are you doing for others,” by Dr. Martin Luther King.

Learning to lead is not an easy thing to do.  It takes time and understanding of what goes into it.  The reason most reject opportunities to lead is because of the great responsibility that comes with it.

We tell them to follow the words of Jim Rohn: “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.  Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.  Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”

The first thing we do each year is create a Mission Statement.  This year our council came up with the following:

By serving selflessly as leaders, setting an example worth following, and establishing a positive culture, we will develop strong, confident leaders capable of overcoming adversity and challenges in pursuit of their goals.

aggie leadership council2One of the things we do each we is discuss passages from “The Daily Reader” by John Maxwell.  I am always blown away with each our student-athletes and what they bring away from the daily reading that they choose to share.

This year we asked our council to then go into detail about how we can put our mission statement to work and, lead by Alyssa, they came up with the following:

Serving Selflessly as Leaders

Listen and understand the needs of our teammates

Provide mentorship and guidance to underclassmen and new-comers

Praise our teammates in public, while saving criticism for private conversations

Always put others first, no matter the situation

Setting an Example Worth Following

Have a positive attitude at all times

Body language, tone, execution during practice, etc.

Take coaching and criticism well

Use it as an opportunity to grow and develop into a better person and player, not a chance to talk back to a coach or teammate

Exhibit a strong desire to improve with every rep, every drill, every practice

Encourage and support our teammates who are facing adversity

Behave appropriately, respectfully, and maturely at all times, including road trips, study hall, team dinners, etc.

Be respectful and appreciative to those people serving us (managers, practice players, coaches, waiters, staff, etc.)

Be a quiet professional, but know when to speak up to make a point

Establishing a Positive Culture

Hold each other accountable to high standards, knowing that our example and our choices carry considerable weight

Call each other out when we’re not practicing well, when we miss a team function (weights, study hall)

Challenge and push each other to become better individuals first, better athletes second

Be firm, fair, and consistent, both when praising and holding our teammates accountable

Don’t encourage, tolerate, enable, or cause behavior that is detrimental to our team

Developing Strong, Confident Leaders

Challenge others to step outside their comfort zone in pursuit of personal development and improvement

Set an example of strength, confidence, and maturity when faced with challenges

Provide opportunities for others to showcase their strengths and abilities

Of course, as in the game of basketball itself, game plans are important but they are insignificant if not followed by execution.

What an amazing document!  I’m proud of them for their vision but more importantly for their effort they’ve put forth in executing that vision.

Thank you Leadership Council for a job well done — now let’s finish!

In the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

 

 

 

What’s In A Number

cooper-numberBy Taylor Cooper

There are two reasons why I wear the jersey number #3.

The first reason is because of Candace Parker. She was my favorite women’s basketball player growing up. She was who I idolized. She was the complete player and that’s how I’ve always wanted to be looked at as a basketball player. After two years of high school I decided that I wanted to change my number, to kind of define my own identity. But I ended up keeping #3  to honor one of my good friends Kyle Lewis.

number-cooperKyle and I were good friends all throughout middle school and high school. His dad coached my dad throughout high school and so we had always been close. Kyle wore number #3 in basketball also and I was always inspired by the way he played. He was the type of player that was always on the floor diving for loose balls, taking charges, and he could shoot the 3. He was the heart and soul of the team just because of how hard he played and the attitude and mindset he brought each and every day. Before my junior year of high school Kyle was killed in a car accident coming back from a golf tournament. He had committed to play golf at the University of Oklahoma and was coming back from one of his last tournaments for the summer. So the reason why I kept the number three as my jersey number is to honor him.

 

MY HERO

breast-cancer-picAt the age of 57, there have been two dates that have dramatically changed my life. The first coming on September 7, 1991 when Sherie Yvette Hayslett made me the happiest man on the face of the planet by taking my hand in marriage.

Then there was June 19, 2007.

On that day, I was in our Baton Rouge house working on the computer in my home office.  It was late morning and Sherie walked in saying she had just gotten on off the phone with the doctor.

“I have breast cancer.”

It is impossible for me to put into words the incredible wave of emotions that washed through me at the moment.  As I got up from my chair to hug her, the first thought that came to mind was “could she possibly die?”  And then, I just as quickly erased that thought, looked into her eyes, and said, “We’re going to be OK — we’re going to beat this.”

And then the journey began.

The bad news was that we had been diagnosed with HER2, one of the most aggressive forms of breast cancers…the good news is that it was Stage 1 — the result of early detection.  In 1991, Sherie had felt a lump during a self-examination and while it proved to be nothing more than a water-filled cyst, a checkup found another lump which also proved to be nothing serious, but started her on an annually scheduled mammogram.  In 2002, after an ultrasound, our doctors suggested two mammograms a year — which eventually found the cancerous tumor — early!

Sherie and I often speak to organizations and the one thing we are quick to point out is that she is alive because or early detection.

After we received the phone call, we met with our doctor and went about putting together our “Dream Team” of physicians, including our oncologist Georgie Reine, surgeon Mary Christian, and cardiologist Carl Luikart.

There were more tests and then a scheduled lumpectomy to remove the cancer, which went well.  Then Sherie had a port installed to receive her chemo and meds.  Sherie named her port “Polly” after the cartoon Underdog’s girlfriend.  Yes, “Polly Port.”

It was early in our journey when I came to the realization that my wife is a hell of lot tougher than I am.  While I am silent in my fear with a happy, positive face on the outside, Sherie is steamrolling through each day with the most amazing attitude.

On July 2, we started chemo and Herceptin, which was a relatively new medicine for HER2 breast cancer.  It was during this process that we learned of all the groundbreaking treatments for breast cancer that are available today.  Early on, there was only one type of chemo, often called “Red Devil” because it was red and made patients incredibly ill.  Today, treatments are practically tailored to each patient.  Along with Sherie’s chemo and Herceptin, she had a medication to fight nausea.

Chemotherapy was at the oncologist’s office.  This was where we were introduced to the “Infusion Room.”  It was a large room filled with comfortable recliners.  The nurses that worked there were amazing.  They were personable, great listeners, and positive-thinking people.  It was in the Infusion Room that I had another realization.  The women would be sitting in their recliners with tubes attached to their ports and various medications pouring into their systems while their husbands and boyfriends sat by their sides. The women would be chatting about anything and everything — their children, their jobs, television shows, vacation plans — anything and everything.  While we men sat there and stared into space.  We all knew what each other was thinking.  Some women drove themselves to the Infusion Room and then drove to work. Early on, it hit me.  Sherie just wasn’t tougher than me — women were tougher than men!

We received our radiation treatments at the Mary Bird Cancer Center.  It was staffed by amazing people who impacted Sherie and me greatly.

Early in our journey, Sherie and I had a conversation about whether we wanted to battle this disease privately and concentrate completely on doing what we needed to do to defeat cancer? Or did we want to take our battle public and see if we could do some good in our community?  Both choices are correct ones — and it is up to each team to decide.

coach1

Our choice had a great deal to do with Coach Kay Yow.  If I can rewind, I’ll explain:

In March of 2007, I was serving as the interim head coach for the LSU Lady Tigers in the NCAA Tournament and we had advanced to the Regionals in Fresno, California. Another of the regional participants was Coach Yow and her North Carolina State team.  I was sitting in my hotel room with my wife. We were watching a moving piece on ESPN on Coach Yow and her battle with breast cancer, talking about how Coach Yow had actually had a chemo treatment on the team plane from Raleigh, NC to Fresno.  It was very moving and I can remember as if it were yesterday my wife Sherie, with tears in her eyes, saying, “She must be an amazing woman.”

Two months later Sherie was diagnosed with breast cancer.  When we spoke about the various options, Sherie simply said, “I hope I’m as tough as Coach Yow.”

During the 2008 Final Four in Tampa, my wife and I were honored to speak at the inaugural Kay Yow Foundation press conference and for the first time, Sherie got to meet her new hero.  I had known Coach Yow for some time, working her camps.  But I will never forget how she treated Sherie that day — as if they were old friends.

The first group we shared our news with was our LSU Lady Tiger Basketball family.  There is nothing — and I mean nothing — like a team.  Our team rallied around Sherie in so many ways — especially our players.  They constantly checked on her and offered assistance.   And not just the current players, but the alums.  Temeka Johnson was a constant visitor and someone who made herself available to Sherie in her fundraising projects.  To this day, Sylvia Fowles will send Sherie her pink game shoes with an inscription.  Marie Ferdinand sent her a pink sweat suit.  There were notes, cards, and phone calls.  The love she felt from so many made a huge difference.

img_9981Soon the time came, as it does with most, that Sherie’s hair started to fall out.  I was worried about how this would effect Sherie.  You see Sherie is a cosmetologist — went to school…got her license…opened her own successful hair salon.  Hair was important to her.  But as with everything else in our journey, it never phased her.  She told anyone who asked that it meant a shorter shower for her, laughing as she said it.  We made the decision that I would shave my hair as well — after all, we are a team.  We set a date and Sherie broke out her professional clippers and in our living room we shaved each other bald!  We walked into the bathroom to look in the mirror and both laughed.

Of course, I was upset.  I thought for the first time in my married life that I would finally be the more attractive one — WRONG!  Sherie was stunning — even without hair!  I wanted to make it as fun as possible so I scheduled a “Glamor Shot” photo shoot for the two of us.  Sherie looked so amazing that the studio actually put up some of her photos in their store — the ones without me.

img_9980

We purchased wigs for Sherie but she opted never to wear them, being comfortable with whom she was and how she looked.  Only an occasional hat to keep her head warm.

We scheduled her chemo times in the morning so I could be with her and not miss our afternoon workouts with the team.  What this does is it creates a “chemo family”.  The same people are there at the same time and they get to know each other very well.

There was one day, however, when we had to move our chemo treatment to the afternoon.  We were out in the waiting room when a woman arrived in a wheelchair.  This was obviously her normal time because everyone in the waiting room smiled, waved, and called her by name.  Then another woman said, “What are you doing here?  I thought you were done with your treatment a month ago?” The woman replied, “I did finish up but the doctors asked me to come back in.”

Soon after, they wheeled her back.  Before long, she came back out in the waiting room where she was crying and visibly upset. Her friend from earlier asked what was wrong and she responded, “The doctor told me the cancer is back, has spread, and it is not treatable.”

There was stunned silence, followed by tears from everyone.  My body shook.  Except by the grace of God that could be Sherie.  Wait, it still could be.  There’s no guarantee that the cancer won’t return.  It happened to Coach Yow.  That afternoon in the Infusion Room was very sobering.

But that’s not the part of the story I want to leave you with.

A few weeks later, we were back in the Infusion Room at our regular time and in wheeled this same woman who earlier had been told she had only a short while left on this earth.  As a friend wheeled her around, she reached into a Kroger bag on her lap and brought out a wrapped gift. She gave one to each nurse in the Infusion Room, thanking them for taking care of her.  It was the most amazing act of humility I have ever witnessed.  I have told the story many times, never without tears or my voice cracking.

After a year of treatment the news that you are cancer-free gives you an emotion never before felt…it’s hard to explain — happiness…joy…exhilaration. Those words aren’t suitable for describing it.

But then, Dr. Christian asked to meet with us. We were told the BRCA test they had performed on Sherie had come back positive for the BRCA gene.  Dr. Christian told us, in simple terms, that there could be up to a 40% chance the cancer could return!  My mind immediately thought of Coach Yow and the woman in the Infusion Room.  Dr. Christian said her recommendation, and she said it was a very strong recommendation, was for Sherie to have a double mastectomy removing both her breasts.  She told us the chance of the cancer returning would drop to 2%.  The decision for me was easy but it wasn’t up to me.  As we went through this journey, I thought Sherie needed to have ownership for her decisions — it was, after all, her body.  My responsibility was to fully support those decisions.  Normally, when it got to situations like that, she would ask my opinion — not this time.  She said, “Let’s do it!”

This is where we added one more member to our “Dream Team” — Dr. Gary Cox, our reconstructive plastic surgeon.

Today Sherie remains cancer free — and there isn’t a day that goes by that we take that for granted.  Before her diagnosis, I spent too much time at my job and not enough time with her.  There would be summers where she would vacation with friends because I didn’t think I could be away from my job.  During the season, I would spend two nights a week in the office, never going home, preparing the next scouting report.  I worked on Christmas Eve and even Christmas Day.

Not anymore.  As much as I loved Sherie on that wedding night of September 7, 1991, it’s multiplied by 1000.  We don’t miss vacations anymore.  We don’t miss opportunities to spend time with each other.

The journey was difficult but it was also a blessing.

img_9982Sherie was so affected by the staff in the Infusion Room that she became a volunteer worker, volunteering at the Mary Bird Perkins Cancer Center until we moved.  We got involved with the Komen Foundation and, of course, the Kay Yow Foundation.  She was the head of a committee that ran an annual fund-raising golf tournament for Women’s Hospital. She was a chairperson for the annual Komen’s Race for the Cure in Baton Rouge.  She even shot a commercial for Mary Bird Perkins which ran several years. Here in College Station, we give and support the Pink Alliance.

As you can tell, I’m incredibly proud of her.  She’s my hero!

This past month, I was honored to receive a call from Stephanie Glance who heads up the Kay Yow Foundation, asking for me to be part of a committee of NCAA assistant coaches.  Our committee leader is Beth Burns of USC and our movement is called Screen For Kay, where we are raising money for mammograms.  I can’t think of anything more important — my wife is alive today because of a mammogram — because of early detection.  What a great way to pay it forward. This Thursday night, Sherie and I will donate $1 for each student that attends our game against Alabama to Screen For Kay fund.

screen4kay-3As a coach of a women’s basketball team, it’s so incredibly important to me that we do all we can to defeat breast cancer.  It’s not lost on me that when we huddle at midcourt after each practice, and we have 12 to 15 young women standing in that circle, that the national statistics say 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer in their lifetime.  It is predicted that over 250,000 new cases of breast cancer will occur in 2017.

We are making great strides in the battle against breast cancer, but we are also far from total and complete victory.  If you are an assistant coach out there reading this, our Kay Yow committee is going to be leaning on you to help.  We often talk about growing the game and what better way to do that than protecting those who play.